Problem Boyfriend
by Half-HeartedShadow
Summary: A collection of one-shots related to bad relationships!
1. Ed vs Roze

Winry and Roze got together one afternoon. They were in Liore at a food stand, talking about Roze's boyfriend troubles. It seemed that Roze kept dating Winry's rejects. Creepy weird, right? Well, Roze decided it just _might_be a good idea for Winry to give her some advice for once. Well, maybe for the umpteenth time. But that was just a small detail.

"So," Roze asked, "do you think Edward would be an okay boyfriend?"

Sighing, Winry explained, "Ed has some serious anger problems. He had them when we were dating, and has had them for as long as anyone can remember. He's blown three dates, including mine, due to those anger problems."

She was oblivious to Winry's explanation, and asked again, "so, would he be an okay boyfriend?"

"Roze! Are you even _listening_?" Winry slammed the table, attracting attention from other eaters, "No, Roze! He's got major anger problems!"

"He didn't seem so bad when I saw him before."

"That's because, like _all_ of your dates, he'll start off okay, then transition to show his true anger!"

*******

(Winry's flashback)

_A while ago, Ed tried to pick Winry up in order to talk. He asked if she would mind. She had smarted off by saying, "can my boyfriend come too?"_

_Ed had shouted, "No! I just want to talk to you!"_

_Winry had said, "No, that's not going to happen Ed."_

(End Flashback)

*******

"So, NO!" Winry shouted. "That man's a walking time bomb ready to--" she was interrupted by Roze.

"Implode?"

Winry slapped her forehead. "no, Roze, the other thing. You know, explode?"

"Oh yeah, that." Roze giggled.

"He will take out his anger on _any helpless being nearby! __**STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"**_

"You're just saying that."

_Well,_Winry thought, _will she take my advice? Survey says... a better chance of rain in hell._

* * *

Sure enough, Roze didn't listen. It had been a couple of weeks since then, and Winry actually thought there would be a slight chance that Ed might have changed. When the phone rang, she knew it had to be Roze. She knew Ed would never change.

The funny thing was, the last wacko she had finally managed to ditch was a Winry reject as well. Roze had gotten her number changed as the wackos kept making themselves known to her. Now she would need to change her number _**again.**_

Ring, ring, ring, Winry picked up the phone. "Winry, it's Roze..." she sounded scared.

"Yeah, I figured."

"Wh-what should I do to ditch him?"

In the background, Winry could hear Ed screaming. Roze whimpered.

"Have him come here, okay?"

"H-how come?"

"I can deal with him better than anyone else can."

"O-okay." Click.

Winry hung up the phone. She was laughing to herself. That Roze _never_ learned. She _never_ listened to good advice. She _loves_ trouble. So trouble _loves_ her.

While Winry was absorbed in her own thoughts, the phone rang again. _Probably Ed telling me his mission was a complete success._

"Hey, Winry." Ed said in his usual tone.

"Hi Ed."

"Uh, can I come back to Risembool soon?"

"Why?"

"Because Roze hasn't learned anything from this. I'm using a pay phone near the pub. She says no matter what, never go to Winry."

Winry slapped her forehead again and groaned. That girl never learned. She claimed to 'not want an angry man!', yet here she was in this position, again.

"Yeah, Ed, you might as well."

She heard Ed's voice perk up a bit. "Yeah, be there soon!"

"Oh, and Ed..."

"Yeah?"

"Trash everything." Hopefully, THAT would leave a message. Listen to Winry.

"Sure." Click.

* * *

_**You can thank my dear mom for this one. I couldn't resist. One of mom's 'flops'. Except, I don't like to have Ed be totally like her old ex. Just so you know, Winry's stories were only to scare Roze. Ed is WINRY's! (in my opinion) This will only be a one-shot. Unless requested otherwise. Thanks for reading!**_


	2. DON'T DO THIS!

_**Hey, Looks like I finally got to update! The real problem with my updating strategy is that... I don't have one for this story! Lol. Oh, and I think I need to apologize to all the Roze lovers out there... cause this chappy is against her... again. So, yeah. But Royai lovers will definitely enjoy this! Enjoy! Remember: Each chapter is a new one-shot!**_

* * *

Roze was out talking to her friends at one of their homes, when the topic of boyfriends came up. Her friends all had such strange relationships... but at least they had someone. She, on the other hand, had no one by her side at this point. It was still frustrating.

So, when they asked her to share a boyfriend story, she said "yes" and proceeded to tell her heartbreak story.

* * *

Back when she was dating Roy, he ended up breaking up with her. To top things off, he broke up with her on Christmas. Yep, it probably was something like this: "merry Christmas, Roy!"

"Merry Christmas, Roze, oh, and we're through."

"Why?"

"Because, I couldn't think of anything else to give you but heartbreak, so bye!"

But, he _did_ leave her a present. It was a box... no, really, just an empty box that was wrapped up. He, on the other hand, ended up with a priceless friendship bracelet. Which he promptly burned after leaving Roze's place.

She didn't want the relationship to end, however, and decided to test his love for her. Which was a bad idea if _he_ broke up with _her._ She figured that since he only worked about three blocks away from where she lived, that she would at least try to get him to come back to her.

So, first, she made a little field trip over to her friend's place. That friend happened to be a Miss Riza Hawkeye.

"So what happens to be wrong, Roze?"

"R-Roy l-left me!"

"Really?" She said in an almost happy tone.

"Y-yes! I was wondering if you could help me win him back."

"Sure." Although she had a different plan entirely. She would help win Roy for herself! Not that undeserving Roze.

So, the duo walked over to Central Headquarters. Roze told Riza her plan. That plan, being that since it was snowing, Riza needed to punch her into unconsciousness. Then, Riza would have to go to the doors and bang on them until Roy came out, since it was only Roy and Ed working late tonight. Then, she'd be able to see whether or not Roy still loved her or not.

"Roze, I'd rather not punch you into unconsciousness right in front of the headquarters."

"Fine! I'll just lay down and pretend to be unconscious then!" And she laid down.

Riza hit the door casually and Roy came with Ed. When Ed saw Roze on the ground, he didn't know she was faking, and freaked out. "Uh, um, Colonel, shouldn't we call an ambulance?"

"No, Fullmetal, I'll take her home. You finish up here. She'll be fine." He said so in a pissed tone. He picked up Roze and dropped her (literally) in his car. The whole trip to her house Roy was yelling at her, telling her that he knew she was just faking. However, Roze decided to play out the fake fainting until he finally reached her house.

Finally, she fake came-to. "Oh, you saved me. Thank you sooo much!" She quickly ran into her house after saying that.

After awhile, he ended up going out with Riza. Yep, the same Riza Hawkeye that accompanied Roze to the headquarters. They ended up being much, _much_happier than Roze and Roy ever were together. So Roze was left in the metaphorical dust... or rather snow.

* * *

"So, yeah, I guess the moral of the story is that you don't bring a girlfriend with you when you test a man's love for you. And don't bother testing him if _he's_ the one to break up with you."

"Yep. Oh, but Roze, thanks for giving me Riza, she's been the light of my life since we broke up!"

"Yeah, thanks for helping me meet Roy!"

_**

* * *

**_

Aahh, Roze never wins in my stories. But anyways REVIEW so I don't get hurt by my momma. Seeing as how this is HER story. So, everyone who doesn't want my mom to kill me(which means she yells at me for illegally using her stories), please review. It pleases her!

_**Also if you have any relationship stories that you want me to post, give me an idea of the relationship story through pm. And if you don't have an account, then just put it through your review. Thanks people!**_


	3. Al and Win: A Friend Tribute

_**Ya know how I've been gone for so long? Well, I've been busy… yeah… busy… for seven months or so… Enjoy the chapter about my two friends. AND REVIEW!**_

* * *

They knew they loved each other right from the start. He saw her, and she saw him. That summer ago that seemed like a miracle… when they first started going out. Alphonse and Winry.

Now that everything was back to normal, it seemed as though their love would last, unblemished by time (but that would be boring for my bloodthirsty readers… so…), that is, until the little problems started coming up.

For some reason, Winry became obsessed with cheese once she learned a different name for it (Kase). Along with that, she also enjoyed her cookies as well. So, being the good boy that he was, Al would get Winry what she wanted.

Al, however, was just happy to be with Winry, as he believed that he wasn't good enough for her. He seemed to enjoy acting like the little teenager that he was, while still taking care of his girl. There were random times, and there were intriguing times. Good times where things went great, and bad times when either of them had a bit of a mood swing.

During times of evil mood swings, things much like what comes next would happen.

"Win, where's my iPod?"

"I _accidentally_ dismantled it."

"_What? _Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well… yes."

A chair was thrown and Al went out like a dead light bulb.

Another time:

"Al, where the heck is my cheese? Or at least the cookies?"

"You probably ate them all."

"Liar! You had to have stolen it!"

Winry was promptly grabbed and held until she calmed down. That resulted in a few bite marks and Al leaving with Winry to buy more cookies and cheese.

Things tend to be repetitive with a few break-ups and reunions… but in the end, they both ended up marrying each other and had their happily ever after. Or it at least is assumed that they will when they get to the wonderful marrying age.

_**

* * *

A small chapter tribute to two of my wonderful and supportive friends, who shall remain anonymous. She tends to be an out of control wild card, while he honestly thinks she's too good for him, but he's such a random sweetie! If they actually read this, I hope they do not kill me, despite me getting her okay on the whole thing. Review or Winry will dismantle you!**_


End file.
